I’m going to take the week off from blogging. We’re closing on a house today and moving tomorrow. I’m almost ready for the movers to come and plan on doing the cleaning today. Tomorrow, I’m hoping there will be enough time in the afternoon to do the floors and shampoo the carpets.
Things to be grateful for:
We have enough money to afford a nice house.
Most of our stuff has been de-cluttered.
My daughter loves playing Rock Band with me.
The dog hasn’t run off even though the doors have been left open.
Nobody is home today so the house is wonderfully silent.
I have ginger tea and vanilla seltzer water to drink today.
I am a strong woman in recovery.
There are lots of strong women in recovery!
There are lots of strong men in recovery too and I’m married to one!
Even after almost 2 years of continuous sexual sobriety, those old patterns are still there: I get stressed and my body responds by getting geared up for sex. It’s good to be self-aware. I know that the way I feel has nothing to do with my husband or with my hormone levels. It’s all about the stress of moving and writing a freaking huge check.
However, as every addict knows awareness isn’t enough. Recovery isn’t about knowing you’re an addict. You have to get through that withdrawal period but after that it’s not about gritting your teeth and white-knuckling your way through life denying yourself what you crave. It’s about having the freedom to choose.
Sure, there are times I feel like acting out. Like I said before, those old patterns are still there. But I’m grateful that today I can choose how I deal with stress:
Calling my sponsor
Writing this post
Vanilla seltzer water
Gratitude, especially that I’m no longer ruled by my compulsive, self-destructive behavior.
I hope everyone who reads this has a wonderful week!