Monthly Archives: May 2008

Part 2: The Anatomy of a Relapse

Recovery is self-care Relapse occurs when an addict’s life becomes unbalanced. In obvious crisis situations, such as the death of a loved one or loss of employment, addicts are often (but not always) able to recognize that they need to

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Posted in recovery tools

Part 1: The Black Hole of Addiction

The Event Horizon In physics the event horizon of a black hole is the point of no return. Addicts suffer relapse when they reach the event horizon of their addictive cycle. In this analogy, you are the sphere, rolling along

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Posted in recovery tools

Me, Me, Me

I just love this song! The About Me page of this blog gets the most traffic, so I’ve added a little blurb about why I’m blogging. It got me thinking about the tension of between honesty and anonymity in my

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Posted in gratitude, sex addiction

Good Therapy Helps

I think addicts have broken eyes. We can’t see ourselves accurately and we mistrust others when they tell us we’re worthy. Just like the song says, my current therapist is sometimes a mirror for me. I’ve been wanting to act

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Posted in gratitude

The Parlor

On Friday, I spent too much time chatting with a certified sex therapist online. I’d met this person on one of the recovery email loops I belong to. The whole thing was so weird and unsettling because she was obviously

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Posted in life in general

I Wish

I’ve been thinking about disclosure today since last night I was idly plugging my former therapist’s name into search boxes. That’s lapse behavior. Not a relapse, not something I reset my sobriety date for, just a big huge red flag

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Posted in sex addiction

An Itchy Brain Day

I seem to be trudging a strange stream-of-consciousness path today. In this post I meander from being done with religion to the existential question, “What am I? Predator or prey? Or both?” Truly, Patrick Carnes had it right when he

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Posted in atheism, sex addiction

Pre-Anger Management

Dealing with anger is probably one of the most difficult parts of recovery for me, having grown up in a family that denies the existence of anger. Even with an addiction to help keep a lid on things, unexpressed anger

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Posted in recovery tools

Primary Emotions

When I was in treatment my therapist gave me a paper with all the emotions listed on it. I was supposed to refer to it whenever I was confused about my feelings. I was paying how much money to go

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Posted in recovery tools

Porn

I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that if you are a regular consumer of pornography, your sex life is not everything you’d like it to be. My guess is that you don’t exactly feel sense of

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Posted in sex addiction