Just Ask


It seems like the blog’s been on the back burner since the Christmas season has kicked in – sorry about that folks. But finally the lights are up, most of the gifts are wrapped, we’re getting the tree this weekend and dinner is planned. We don’t do all the church and Jesus stuff, but there’s is a nativity scene that’ll go over the fireplace on the mantle. I bought it years ago when I was a devout believer and the kids still like it, most especially they like teasing me about it.

So yes, my husband and I are atheists and yes, we celebrate Christmas. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about today. I was catching up on reading the blogs I subscribe to and one of them had a post about sex rehab. The post was interesting, but what really caught my attention was one of the commenters. This person was so far off base in his or her imagination of what residential therapy for sex addiction is really like, it was almost funny. I say almost, because I was pretty ticked off.

There was the typical “there’s no such thing as sex addiction” argument. That’s boring and it’s been done all over the Internet. When I see it, I automatically skip over it. But I just had to refute the postulation that treatment facilities actually enable sex addiction. The commenter suggested that by making sex “bad,” treatment actually makes it that much more alluring, becoming the forbidden fruit, so to speak.

As I was climbing up onto my soapbox in high dudgeon, it occurred to me that I was taking this comment rather personally. Kind of the same way I took the hoopla over the atheist group’s sign in the mall. It’s hard for me not to take anti-atheism personally. See how recovered I am? <smile> After all, how can someone who hasn’t been to rehab know what it’s like? So instead of just complaining about someone’s ignorance, I decided that I’d invite questions here, on my blog.

Are you curious about what treatment for sex addiction is like? Put your question in a comment here and in a future post, I’ll answer them.



  1. What were the most and least beneficial parts of the treatment program for you?
    What did you do there that you are still doing now?
    Roughly, how many men vs. women were there? Did this affect your experience in any particular way?
    How 12 Step focused was the treatment? If not, what other methods did they use? How did you navigate the program as an atheist?
    How did you feel coming in as the client to a treatment center run by a bunch of experts? Was the power differential troubling in any way?
    What made you choose a treatment center over other ways that people recover from addiction?
    How did you choose your treatment center?

  2. I am very interested in what treatment is like. The only reference I have for sexual rehab is from reading “Love Sick” a few weeks ago. I just found your blog yesterday and have pretty much read the whole thing. I googled ‘scared to go to meetings’ (which I am) and voila, there it was. I am not in recovery but need to be. I went to some S meetings a few years ago, got a sponsor who scared me, and left. I am terrified to go back and scared of sobriety in general so being able to read what it’s like on the other side of addiction is giving me a smidge(?) of hope. I appreciate your candidness and hope you keep it up.

  3. Although I don’t have any specific questions, I am very interested in knowing more about inpatient treatment programs for sex addiction.

    One of the members of my SAA fellowship has been to one, but I haven’t been able to have a conversation with him about it yet.

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