If you’ve ever been to 12-step meetings for sex addiction, you’ve probably heard something like “keep coming back.” The idea is that if you stop going to meetings, you’re going to cut yourself off from the people you need to help you stay on track in your recovery.
The whole 12-step recovery movement is based on sharing what works. I’ve heard more than one addict sharing about what a mistake it was for them to allow their recovery to take a back seat to the other things that were going on in their lives.
Generally, this is described as a slippery slope with the addict slowly coming to see their priorities change. Where once they would have gone to any lengths to attend a meeting, now there are more important things to do.
And I’m worried.
I’ve never heard from the people who drift away from recovery and continue to do well so it’s hard to decide what’s best for me.
I’ve written about this before, in Musing About Meetings, but as always happens in recovery, I’ve changed, which is good! After all, that’s what recovery is all about: change. I’m less afraid of losing my sobriety now, less afraid that I will lose control of myself, less afraid in general. Of course, that’s pretty much exactly what the ones who stumble back into the rooms say, which worries me.
What I want to know is what the ones who quit going to meetings but go on and do well in their lives, never stumbling back through the doors of a 12-step meeting because they’re doing well and don’t need meetings.