Addiction is . . .


Here are today’s words of wisdom from my current recovery reading. This is on

page 203 of The Survivors Club by Ben Sherwood.

“The truth is that I am not prone to accidents,” she writes in her memoir. “I am prone to jumping on the back of a horse and riding until the rush of wind in my ears erases the screaming and name-calling between the two women I love most in the world. I am prone to going to the stable rather than asking my (ex) husband if he can please take that . . . bong out of his mouth. I am prone to panic over when I’m going to get paid for my last freelance article and whether the check will arrive before the phone bill is due. I am prone to fly off the handle. I am prone to be sad for reasons that I don’t really understand. I am prone to want to see myself bleed rather than admit I’m scared. Accidents are just part of the deal.”

” ‘Accident-prone’ is not a description of my character,” she has written. “It’s a state of mind I enter.” Survival means mindfulness. To live well and dodge bad luck, you need to focus on the “state of mind of good possibilities,” Sam tells me, “or the state of mind of safer possibilities.”

Although I am prone to addictive sexual behavior, not accidents, I’ve also had to recognize some important realities, just like Sam has.

On page 199:

“I am blue-eyed because of genetics; I am math-phobic because of bad teaching; I am redheaded because my hair-dresser stands behind my refusal to accept brown hair,” she writes. But she couldn’t pinpoint the underlying reason for her accidents.

Interesting, isn’t it? Addiction is a state of mind. So is sobriety.

Some states of mind are more conducive to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness than others.


One comment

  1. Accidents. I love that. My SA husband would love it more. “I didn’t mean to….It just happened….”

    Thank God I stopped tripping over phone records, receipts, and dirty pillowcases. Now, I move them out of the way and keep going so as not to fall on my face.


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