For the love of FRICK!

scarlet_AIn the face to face world, I’m the only atheist in recovery I know besides my husband, and he doesn’t go to meetings. In the online world I’m on the same list-serve as two other atheists who are sex addicts. Both men. There’s 21 members over at the Atheist Nexus form for atheists in recovery (here). That’s a big group, mostly alcoholics and drug addicts. Then there’s this guy Chris, whom I don’t know but I read this page of his over and over while I was coming to terms with my conversion to atheism. 


Recently someone commented on one of my posts. Comments are so validating! The commenter, bukabuddah, really touched me. The whole comment is here but the part that really got to me is this:

“For the love of FRICK! (not the word I actually used but close enough to allow me to express without being offensive)

I just want to be clean and sober and not engaging in addictive behaviors. I believe that I need a group of other like minded people to accomplish this daily goal. Hence, my problem. Must I deny my true beliefs and rational reality to have a support group!?! I am hoping that this post will bring me some much needed support and love from people who are simply trying to live free like I am.”

I’m really lucky. I belong to a group that doesn’t give me grief for being an atheist. Ever. I’m also lucky because I knew and loved the people in my group before I became an atheist. In other words, I was a full member of the group with a strong sense of belonging BEFORE I became an atheist. I knew I was accepted in a way I don’t think would have been possible had I come in the door an atheist.




  1. I like having you on my reading list for many reasons, and one of them is exactly what you talk about here. I wish more people were willing to participate in the kind of dialogue that allows for different points of view. Keep sharing where you come from, and I hope that you’re able to read my more theistic posts as coming from a friend on the journey.

  2. While I’m not atheist, I know and love quite a few and I fight for their right to recovery the same as I fight for my own. Keep writing – keep speaking your truth. There are others out there who need to hear your words.

  3. I was thinking about this last night and was going to comment on the original post. The thing is, I don’t know. Does that make me an agnostic? That implies no conviction, or happily, a willingness to live in the mystery.

    The kicker is, what I experience is doubt, which is unsettling in any context. Anybody who “believes” in God has doubt, and it’s painful. The more you believe, the darker the cloud of doubt.

    But because I know that there are people like you who are in recovery, without God, then the doubt is less fearful. Because recovery is what matters to me, above all else. So if it’s God who puts a hand on my shoulder, because I am so frickin’ in need of touch right now, or if it’s just my wild and willing imagination, I’m still getting what I need, regardless of where it’s coming from. So, doubt what? It doesn’t matter. I’m in recovery. I’m getting well. And I hear you can do it with or without God. Your successful recovery as an atheist let’s me have it both ways.

  4. As someone who used to self-identify as atheist, but now has a hard time knowing what to identify as, I’m intrigued lately by how atheists’ beliefs differ and how/whether it’s possible to identify around a positive set of values and beliefs rather than in negative terms. I think atheists are perceived by theists as being nihilists, who believe life is empty and meaningless, although I know only a small subset of atheists actually are. For me atheism meant rejecting a particular narrow definition of God — that is, I believed there is “no human-like deity or supernatural force controlling the universe and judging or interceding in the actions of the people in it.” (A belief I still hold.)

    So, I’m curious what atheism means to you. When you say “atheist” what is it specifically that you see yourself rejecting and what do you embrace and believe in (since I know that only a small subset of atheists are actually nihilists)? Is it possible for atheists to identify around a positive rather than a negative belief system?

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