Monthly Archives: December 2010

The Problem with Powerlessness

The problem with the idea that I’m powerless over my addiction is that it’s not true. Obviously. Even in the depths of my addiction, I made choices. For example, I don’t sit and watch porn on the computer that’s in

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Posted in recovery tools

True Grit

Yay me! Notice the sobriety date in the sidebar hasn’t changed! Yay me! And as they ask in 12-step meetings (well, they ask after you haven’t had to change your sobriety date for a period of time that has a

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Posted in atheism, relapse, sex addiction

Merry Christmas Musings

Merry Christmas to all my online friends and acquaintances; to everyone who stops by my blog. And by the way, let’s all take a moment to enjoy the irony of a sexually compulsive atheist wishing others a merry Christmas. <

Posted in gratitude, relapse, sex addiction

in which I want to stop but cannot

I acted out again yesterday. That’s the nice way I’d say it if I were sharing in a 12-step meeting – one for sex addicts, that is. If I’m in an AA meeting I generally keep my mouth shut. That’s

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in which I don’t act out this morning

Evenings are the worst. Last night we laid in bed and talked, and while it’s good to talk, I think we’re going to switch to “news, sports, weather” for a little while because . . . because that will be

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How to become overwhelmed

I’ve been working for my husband for a few years now in his business. Like many wives, I keep the books and pay the bills while he performs the work that actually generates income. I also help out by filling

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Posted in recovery tools, relapse, sex addiction

this morning’s musings

I often feel worse after going to a meeting. I come home more alone and ashamed. I come home isolated. This is my husband’s observation (side note – when things aren’t going well, it’s very hard to communicate). One of

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Posted in recovery tools, relapse, sex addiction

A recipe for relapse

I still can’t believe I lost my sobriety. I was at an AA meeting two days ago where someone shared that she “knew, just knew” that she had taken her last drink. Evidently her compulsion to drink had been lifted

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Easy Does It

Well, today is better than yesterday was. I’m thinking about doing a 90 in 90 (that’s going to 90 AA meetings in 90 days) but I don’t know. Yes it’s true that recovery is recovery. But I don’t feel like

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A brand new day

Almost 24 hours. Time to get the heck out of the house because unlike yesterday, today I’m feeling pretty awful about what I did and I’ve been me long enough to know where that’s eventually going to go.

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Posted in relapse