This is a rambling post that says pretty much nothing. It’s more of a journal entry than anything else, which I wouldn’t normally post. But since I’ve recently had a slip, I’m trying to be more open and honest and let the inside out. I still think it’s hubristic to share it here, but I like reading other people’s journaling. Besides, I often get valuable feedback when I post. When I keep it all in the privacy of my own brain, the feedback is suspect!

I’ve spent the morning hanging out. I’ve been looking at books on amazon.com (there’s a new e-book version of Flatline) and reading some articles. The radical honesty guy has workshops, which sounded interesting. I went to a community building workshop years ago and it was pretty neat. Those types of things tend to attract a certain homogenous group though, which increases your chances of running into some nuts. Although I guess you could argue that we’re all nuts in some way or another. I won’t be going to any workshops since one of the activities involves a nude recitation of how you feel about your body (taped) and your sexual history (also taped) in front of the other participants. It’s to address the shame we all experience around those areas. If I squint my eyes really hard, that kind of makes sense for a second or two. After all, I don’t think you can get much more naked (in an existential sense) than I did in rehab. Everyone I was bared their soul, so to speak. But there’s a fine line between seeking to know another in a helpful way and seeking to know another in a hurtful, voyeuristic way.

I guess that’s connected in some way with a deep seated distrust that those who are supposed to be helping or guiding you would instead be seeking to use or harm you. Wonder where that comes from? hehe.

I’ve also checked out a few paleo diet websites. Now there’s a food plan that makes sense to me. Too bad making sense doesn’t always equal correct.

Clearly, it’s time to reheat my coffee and get the kitchen cleaned up.

Isn’t that a cool picture? I took it myself! Yay me! I have a cool camera and I’m grateful for it.



  1. I sometimes have to remember again and again in recovery – balance. It is very easy for an addict like me to go to extremes all the time. These days I was really happy how I feel no temptation – like the addictions is gone. Then I realized I have been working like crazy these weeks day and night ( I am working from home). I am exhausted and I sleep very little. I know I need to go back to some balance.

    This radical honesty is for me another extreme. I completely support the idea of being honest but not hurting other people. Being honest in a 12 step group is somewhat safe and helpful. Being honest in front of a big random group can be hurtful, tempting I dont know. There is something off about it

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s