Lately I’ve been reading Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life. I was initially interested in him because it’s really unusual to have a professor argue against inclusive language. So I googled and watched a few of his videos online. In fact, this man is not transphobic. He’s smart, and his arguments make sense.
Here’s what I’ve been struggling with. I’m an avid reader and I used to really enjoy books like this. But I just today realized that I no longer read much of anything that’s intellectually challenging. I don’t participate in conversations that are deep, spirited, or intellectually challenging. That’s not terrible, but I feel sad about it.
I feel … sad.
Like I’m still wounded by the betrayals I experienced. I wish I felt more whole. I wish I felt more resilient.
One thing I’ve learned though is that feelings are not facts. And the fact that I’m alive and sane proves that I’m pretty darn resilient even though I don’t feel that way.