I had a dream of days gone by

Lately I’ve been reading Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life. I was initially interested in him because it’s really unusual to have a professor argue against inclusive language. So I googled and watched a few of his videos online. In fact, this man is not transphobic. He’s smart, and his arguments make sense. 

Here’s what I’ve been struggling with. I’m an avid reader and I used to really enjoy books like this. But I just today realized that I no longer read much of anything that’s intellectually challenging. I don’t participate in conversations that are deep, spirited, or intellectually challenging. That’s not terrible, but I feel sad about it. 

I feel … sad. 

Like I’m still wounded by the betrayals I experienced. I wish I felt more whole. I wish I felt more resilient.

One thing I’ve learned though is that feelings are not facts. And the fact that I’m alive and sane proves that I’m pretty darn resilient even though I don’t feel that way. 




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